Journal Entry 1 Night

 The story "Night" tells of a boy name Eliezer, who lives during the Holocaust. The characters in the book had lost the "instinct of self preservation, of self defense, of pride" (pg 36) during their first day in Aushwitz. This is very true when you love something and it is gone forever. Whenever you lose someone to the clutches of the death, friends or family of the victim become phantoms themselves.  For example, when my grandfather left us, I felt very insecure. When he died, my eyes would let out a continuous stream of tears and the pain of him being gone would not disperse. I obtained a new fear in those few days. It was the fear of death. Another thing that happens, when you loose someone you love is all your instincts stop cold in their tracks. You have the feeling of being numb. No matter what anyone says, it has no affect on you. You get the sense that retaliating won't do anything. It won't change a thing if you fightback so you remain a non-emotional zombie. The last thing you loose when someone dies is your pride. When a loved one dies you experience dread. With the increase of dread your head drops a few inches. You may no longer boast about sports or anything because boasting won't bring that person back. You especially, lose hope when the doctors tell you that nothing can be done, the person can say their goodbyes and then its curtains. A horrible loss of pride that I experienced and  the people of "Night " may have witnessed was the loss of religion. When my Grandpa died I continually asked one of the big questions. Why did God choose him and not someone else? I never came to a conclusion and I may never. One thing is for certain, you lose a lot of pride.Some are affected more seriously then others. Many may turn into lost souls that are shrouded by gloom. Never to show their intuition or even talk for a lengthy time. While others during that time are the opposite. There is no happiness in people who cherished the deceased. The main reason of all this misery, is never going to be able see that person again and relive your fondness memories with them. It makes you wonder how much longer you will have until you have to take up a permanent residence in a wooden box. Will it be in 50 years or maybe this afternoon. God has a plan and only he knows when it happens.This was probably going through Eliezer and all the Jew's heads. For example, I witnessed God's plan when my first dog died. My dog was old but still in applicable health. One morning she went into an open lot that was next door. This was very unusual for her to go over to this open field by herself. A half an hour passed and my father went to search for our dog. He found her in the gaping jaws of two coyotes. It was too late. She was in a extreme amount of pain so she had to be put down. It is very bizarre because on almost every other morning she never wandered over there. Was it an animal instinct or just God telling her that her time was up. Everyone  has a expiry date on earth. The only thing that matters is making the most of your life with no regrets before you meet your fate.