Just a Regular Day on the Job

    It is starting to get dark now. Jim and I have been out in the woods since five this morning, searching for any sign of a bear. The bears in Clear Water are more of a nuisance rather than a pest. The bear we are looking for (B153) is a different story. This bear is intelligent and on more then one occasion he has been able to escape an inevitable capture. Most of the time, animal control doesn’t send their men into the front line of bear territory but B153 is the only exception. This bear originally only attacked cats and dogs but a week ago a young child was saved from it’s jaws of death. I guess man is to blame, the shortages of food has led a lot of the bears to desperation. What is done is done, this bear must meet its end.

     Jim is starting to complain that his feet are burning from blisters he has obtained from today’s trek. We decide to stop by a beautiful waterfall that we have come across. The water lightly falls from above and plummets to the gnarl of rocks below. The sound of thunder radiates from the falls and throughout the valley. Jim decides to sit on a rock in front of a berry bush. While we rest, me and him start to talk on how our family’s are doing. Throughout the day, Jim and I have been silent like the dead. Now, we are more like wolves howling at the moon. Then, there is a rustle in the bush behind Jim. We become silent again. The look on Jim’s face is one that I have never seen before, fear. Even when I got in a car accident with him, I never saw that face. Behind him the noise escalates as the creature gets closer to where we now stand on full alert. Our guns are loaded in anticipation of the bear’s arrival. As if a Jack in a Box, out pops a little squirrel from the darkness of the bush. Jim stares at the tiny critter and just laughs. He jokingly brings the gun to the squirrel’s head and continues to laugh. All of a sudden, there is a loud thump followed by splashes on the other side of the river.

     There he is B153, charging us as if he were a bull and we were the color red. Jim is so bewildered, that he shoots a mile from where the bear is. The bear decides to go directly at Jim now. B153 with his great powerful paws rips the gun away from Jim before he can reload. With the other paw he pierces Jim’s skin on his right forearm. Sensing that Jim was no longer a threat the bear turns toward me. I am frozen with fear so the bear takes advantage of that. It rips my gun away and throws me to the ground. The bear is on top of me with is mighty mouth opened wide. The bears breath reeks of fish with a hint of berry. In the distance, I hear gun shots. The bear is startled by the noise and gets off of me.  A few seconds later I feel the splatter of blood on my face. At first, I think the bear had gone back for Jim and he was using Jim as a human chew toy. I roll over in total astonishment to see that B153 has a huge gauge of skin missing on the left side of it’s face. The bear’s bellowing overpowers the sound of the falls. The bear grunts then leaves the scene. I am overcome by darkness.

    I am awoken by drops of water being pored on my face. I try to piece everything together. My memory comes flooding back to my like the water on my face. The first thing I do is wash the remnants of the blood off my face. Keeping my eyes closed, so I don’t get any of the blood in my sensitive eyes. Once I open my eyes, I see a hairy man hovering over me. At first I thought I was still staring at the bear. He smelt earthy and was dressed from head to toe in fur. I could tell that he had been in the woods for awhile because of his hygiene and lack of teeth. He spoke in grunts asking if I was alright and what on earth Jim and I were doing. While I was out the man bandaged Jim up with a pelt Band-Aid to stop the bleeding. He told us how to get back into the city and warned us that the bear was possessed by an evil spirit. Jim and I did not want to insult our savior so we did not argue. We expressed our gratitude and headed in the direction towards town. Jim started to laugh and pulled a claw out of his pocket, it was drenched in his own blood. In a low monotone voice Jim said “got him”.

Blog Choice: Rant Against My Leg

   I hate injuries. A few months ago, I hurt something in my leg during a lacrosse game. I had to put on so much A535, that I smelled like a candy cane factory. The pain just won’t go away. Whenever I get up in the morning, I pretty much just fall out of bed.  Then I have to take a whole bunch of Advil to make it through the day. Hopefully, I won’t OD on the stuff. Putting on my socks is just murder. I fell like just ripping off my legs and sticking the stupid socks on. To make matters worse during school whenever I get up, I almost fall on my face. Don’t even get me started on trying to walk. I walk as if I am that stereotypical old Oriental man in movies. While at other times, I walk in lurches like that drunk guy who is always outside the liquor store. The treatments, oh the treatments are no fun at all. Getting a massage was okay. Going to the Chiropractor, not as much fun. When the guy cracks your back it feels so weird. Then there is Physiotherapy.  It kind of works but every time he puts a pin in my leg, I feel worse the next day.  I have to roll my leg with a Styrofoam cylinder every day too. What is my leg a slab of cookie dough? Physiotherapy is by far the best release of pain though. I hope one day my leg fells better so I can play sports properly and do whatever I please without my leg hurting.

Top #3 Products That Change Your Tongues Colour

     The top three products that change your colour of your tongue is Gatorade, Popsicle Pete popsicles and Skittles. Before experimentation begins our experimental tongue’s pigment will be checked, so that each experimental tongue will have the same pigment. Then the same amount of product will be added to the same tongue colour. The products used, will be the same shade of colour. We are testing how much the colour of the tongue has changed since its original colour. Furthermore, we will test how your taste buds are affected by each product. Another form of testing is how well the colour of your tongue affects the colour of your saliva. The final test is seeing how long it takes the tongue to change back to its original colour.

     #3 Skittles

    Skittles change your tongues colour piece by piece. When the candies are crunched small fragments of the candy may stay on your tongue. These fragments leave splotchy marks on your tongue. If they are sour skittles they affect your taste buds majorly. Skittles are not as far up as they should be because skittles can just be swallowed and may never make contact with the tongue.

#2 Popsicles

   Popsicles are good on a hot day but not for a hot date. Theses little guys turn your tongue a darkish colour. As the Popsicle slowly melts in your mouth the colour seeps into your tongue. Added when you lick a Popsicle, the colour is rubbed against your tongue leaving its imprint.  This colour lasts for quite a while.

#1 Gatorade

     The number one cause of colour changing of the human tongue is Gatorade. This stuff is like bleach for the tongue. When Gatorade is drunk the liquid stains your tongue and teeth. This colour lasts for hours no matter how much you brush your teeth. When Gatorade is drunk, the Gatorade just sits in your mouth and your tongue absorbs the liquid. Gatorade is probably able to change your tongue colour so much because the electrolytes have an affect on your tongue

Those are what I consider the top #3 things that stain your tongue.

Historical Moment

     It is 1662 in Salem, Massachusetts. The witch trials have just begun. I know what I have to do. The past must be changed for a better future.

     It was a bright morning but there was a brisk cold breeze in the town of Salem. The leaves were a vibrant green. Down by the river the town’s people were meeting to discuss an incident that occurred the previous night. A young child was found in a field shaking like she was possessed by a demon. All the villagers were crowded around a young woman. The woman was covered in dirt, from laying in the streets. Her hair was black like a starless night. The woman was allegedly found a block down from where the incident occurred. This poor woman was considered by the townsfolk an outcast of society. The child’s parents were at the centre of the arguing. The argument increased, which eventually led to false blaming against the woman. Someone said that there fields were not plentiful because of the woman, while another blamed her for the death his cow. I just stood and watched, leaning against a nearby house as the events unfolded. The only sound I payed attention to was the crash of water on the rocks in the river.  The townsfolk finally had enough and brought the woman to the Court of Oyer (witchcraft court), where she was convicted of being a witch. She was to be hung with four other women that afternoon on July 19, 1662 on Gallow Hill. The woman’s name was Sarah Good.

     When the clock struck four, I made my way to Gallow Hill and to that dreadful tree. If I did not do anything there would be five lifeless bodies hanging from that tree. Once I arrived I chose my hiding spot. The women then arrived and were placed around the tree. As the first women’s stool was about to be kicked out from under her, I made my move. I jumped from my hiding place in that big tree and cut each woman out of their noose.  All of a sudden everyone’s attention turned to me. Someone screamed out, “He is a witch.” I managed to steal five horses and send the five women on their way. While I had a mob of frightened citizens hot on my tail. I ran into the nearby forest to where my getaway to the future awaited me. My way back to the future was a Mustang, sorry Michael J. Fox I ride in style. Finally, when the townsfolk arrived at my car, they just stood there stunned. Someone exclaimed, “He really is a witch” and then the villagers tried to destroy my car. Lucky enough I made it out of there in no time or I would have been toast.

     When I got back to future I was surprised to find the air was fresh, no war planes overhead, everything was just peaceful. I thought I must have done something right so I went to our town’s library and looked up Sarah Good. I found out that Ms.Good had a child and so her family tree went on. One of her descendants had found a cure for all kinds of cancer, while another had found a way to prevent global warming. The most impressive of her descendants was the one that was still living.  Ms. Good’s descendant had a powerful presence of the UN and had helped create world peace. The future can be however you want it to be, so do the best you can and have a good life.